Impasse is not a failure

Image by Rubén Bagüés

When we think of negotiations, we rarely consider impasse as a success. The word itself signifies that we weren’t able to come to an agreement, we ended up being deadlocked and no progress was made. However, in the context of negotiations, fight the urge to consider impasse as a failure, because impasse can be nothing short of a win.

We engage in negotiations because we think there is more value to be had between two or more parties, we suspect that we can increase the net gain. If you are a collaborative negotiator, then you know that through the process you can find and increase the net value for both parties and walk away happy and invigorated. However, occasionally your counter party might not be on the same page as you, and might not be interested in the collaborative approach. Maybe due to their ego, maybe due to their view of negotiations as a win-lose engagement, maybe due to other reasons that are out of your control. Either way, there will be times when an agreement won’t be reached and the parties come to an impasse. Quite often such an outcome is viewed as undesirable, but more often than not I find it triumphant. There is a caveat of course, impasse can only be celebrated when one considers it as an option during the preparation stage, and goes into the negotiations already knowing at what point an impasse is a successful outcome. In negotiations, you ought to aim for the best possible end solution for your party, and sometimes that means going in a different direction from those sitting across the table from you. 

During preparation for negotiations, consider when an impasse is a viable solution for you as well as for the other side. In each interaction where there is available value up for grabs, there comes a point where the value that’s offered to you is no longer beneficial. For example, if a customer asks to give them a product that would result in me gaining very little margin even though revenue might be attractive, it might be better to walk away from such a proposition as it might open up the capacity to increase the sales with another customer who allows for a healthy margin! You must consider what many negotiation professionals refer to as BATNA, which is the Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. You should evaluate every agreement to a possible alternative, always. There are endless options when it comes to negotiations. Some might be harder to execute and require more work. Reaching a sub-par agreement might be an easier route, yet if you want to make the best business decisions, then you need to understand what your best alternative is to negotiated agreement that’s in front of you. When you have considered best options, then you won’t be afraid of the impasse, because you will realize that it will trigger you to pursue the alternative that is more favorable than what was extended to you by the other party. During your preparation, draw up scenarios in which the best alternative is to simply walk away!

At times impasse happens when the two parties have exactly the same priorities and can’t seem to find any creative levers to pull to extract the value without hurting the other party. More often than not, impasse happens because people aren’t asking good questions, thus failing at conducting productive conversations. As a rule of thumb, stay away from yes/no questions during negotiations. Your goal is to extract as much info as possible from the other party, therefore, focus on questions that will shed some light on priorities and interests of the person sitting across the table. Questions that start with “how”, “when”, “where”, “what” are much better than questions that start with “do”, “can”, “is/are”. Dig deeper and ask thought provoking questions. 

For example, ask me the question “Can you extend your payment terms?” and my answer will be an unequivocal “No”. However, ask me “how can we extend your payment terms” or “what would it take to extend the payment terms” and my mind sees a question that is posed as a problem that I need to provide a solution to. 

Image by William Daigneault

Another reason as to why impasse occurs is lack of stamina or information. Quite often negotiations aren’t just about one issue, but rather multi-faceted asks. When conversations run long, and different things get discussed, stories are shared, persuasion techniques get deployed, people get tired and quickly at that. When we get mentally drained from the onslaught of information for us to process, we want an out, we want it to stop. What I see professionally is many people instead of taking a break, will rush to put an end to conversations and throw an impasse into the dialogue. Don’t be afraid to take a pause in negotiations and rather than making a decision, make a commitment to get back to the other party in a timely manner with a proposal. 

Finally, sometimes impasse occurs because you have an individual with large ego who would rather walk away that give in on any account, and in that case, cut your losses and walk. You will find a better customer, or supplier, or partner who is collaborative and communicative and values relationships.

Don’t let bullies into your relationships, they won’t change, and you won’t win.